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What’s perfection? Who is perfect? What does it mean to be perfect? And, why does perfection leave me inherently disappointed? These questions I’ll be attempting to address throughout this blog post as this time of the semester and the year, with everyone comparing themselves to each other. The most “wonderful time of the year,” is also the time of year with grades coming out and the holiday season where your “favorite” uncle asking why you haven’t accomplished the X, Y, Z thing that your cousin has.
Living in a world where we’re constantly bombarded with images of the perfect life on social media and the constant price of comparison has left me with a taste of dissatisfaction in my mouth. When I’m bored, or let’s be honest, when I’m avoiding awkward elevator conversation, I scroll through Instagram and Facebook. There I find myself comparing my life to people that I barely know anymore and wondering ‘Why can’t I have what they do?’ “Why aren’t I good enough to be like them?” Then, I’m back into my typical spiral: Thinking about the regrets I have in life, how I could have been like ______ or had ____ if only _____, and eventually I tire myself out or snuggle up to the bag of Oreo’s I keep for my monthly (okay, weekly) breakdown. What if I told you that I’ve found a way to slow down the spiral? All I do is say to myself, “Perfectionism is the highest form of self-abuse,” and I pause. Let that sink in. Repeat. I then remember that I’m abusing myself by constantly comparing myself to others for being what I perceive to be perfect. Our society has found a way to make insecurity a currency. Don’t like yourself? You can change anything you want about yourself, for a price, and for some it’s the price of likes or followers. Don’t like others? Don’t worry, you can hate everyone else and still have a huge ego, just like our president. It’s funny because the times I feel myself most honestly connected to others is when I’m being my imperfect self. Yet, I go to social media to try to feel connected, why? The real question I’m afraid to ask: Can I be happy if I’m not perfect or have a perfect life? To be honest, I’m not sure the answer which terrifies me. Will I always be grasping for something more and something that is so unrealistic, something that’s perfect? And how will I know if I actually obtain it? However, it seems like the most vulnerable thing that we can do is to live imperfectly. The more we are willing to be vulnerable, the more we build connections with others, and isn’t that where truly happiness lies? So, I guess this is my challenge to all of my fellow perfectionists out there: Live imperfectly as best as you can so that you can start letting your true self be seen and you can finally feel like you truly belong. Because SHOCKER you do. You belong. Find your folx. Be honest with them and yourself about who you are, then you’ll have your happy imperfect life.
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Brad Krause
For most of us, happiness means feeling good, having a positive self-image, and succeeding in our personal and professional lives. Without good mental health, however, those are difficult to achieve. Mental health determines how you think, feel, deal with stress, and interact with others every day. It’s a definite health priority, but maintaining good mental health requires mindfulness and a determination to address your need for self-care, no matter how busy you are. Stay Connected We all need to feel that we belong, that we’re liked and that the people we care about actually value our friendship. So, take good care of your relationships — stay connected with friends, be supportive of others in your social circle, and show an active interest in your friends’ interests. You don’t have to spend a lot of money to celebrate a friend’s good fortune or to show support when things don’t go well for them. Sometimes, just lending a sympathetic ear is enough. Being part of a strong emotional support group requires a sincere willingness to be helpful, but the long-term mental health benefits to you are well worth the effort. Relaxation Regimen Everyone needs to relax during the course of a hectic week. You can’t ignore the need to unwind if you’re to maintain good mental health, so set aside time for activities that give you joy. Emphasize simple practices that don’t require a heavy financial or time investment. Meditation, a massage, a hot shower or an hour of yoga will help you work off stress. You don’t need a gym membership or pricey workout equipment to achieve good mental and physical health. Better Sleep Through Technology Sleep is crucial for your mental well-being. Getting at least seven hours of sleep a night has a direct bearing on your mood and ability to focus at work. If you struggle getting enough sleep, technology can provide an affordable solution. Sleep buds and white noise machines are effective aids that fit nicely within your budget, especially if you take advantage of discounts and savings such as using a BestBuy promo code when shopping online. Good Hygiene Science has discovered a close connection between hygiene and overall health. Practicing good hygiene is inexpensive, helps prevent illness, and benefits you socially, professionally and psychologically. It’s a simple proposition: If you look good, chances are you’ll feel good too, so pay attention to your appearance every day. Be sure to see a dentist for regular cleaning, which will help you avoid expensive dental work later on. Exercise Regularly Exercise is one of the best ways to practice self-care. Physical activity gets the blood pumping, engages the mind, and activates endorphins in the brain, which boosts your mood. If you’re watching your money, exercise can provide an inexpensive means of reducing stress and staying fit. Exercise serves multiple purposes: It alleviates stress, strengthens the muscles, and keeps the cardiovascular system in good condition. Exercise not only improves your mental outlook, but it’s also self-empowering and gives you a sense of control over your well-being. Healthy Eating Emphasize healthy eating at home with foods and ingredients from each of the basic food groups, especially vegetables, fruits, and whole grains. Cooking healthy meals will help you save money by not eating out, and you’ll feel good about your appearance. It’s a great way to manage your weight and avoid the expense of medical care for problems like diabetes and obesity, which often result from an indifferent and unhealthy diet. Poor mental health can be very costly. Counseling and the effects of depression on your mental condition can place a definite strain on your budget. Practicing simple, inexpensive self-care habits will help you maintain a positive mental outlook and a healthy lifestyle. Skylar Butenhoff
With finals approaching, it's easy to let stress get the best of us. Here are some tips to avoid throwing your mental health on the back burner. - Set *realistic* goals, and write them down: This allows you to become more motivated in order to cross things off your list, leaving you with the feeling of accomplishment. -Study groups: Find yourself getting distracted by your phone while studying and then becoming disappointed in how much you didn't get done? Find a few buddies or a group of people in the same class who will study with you. You're less likely to be on your phone while actively studying with others, allowing you to get the most out of your designated 'study time.' -Do NOT work in bed: Although it might be convenient and comfortable, separate your work and sleep space. Your brain ties emotions to places, so if you're stressed while working on homework in bed, you may not be able to get sleep later when you need to. -Take advantage of campus programs: UW-Madison offers a variety of different programs through UHS and other facilities, take advantage of them! -Keep in touch with family and friends: Things will change both at home and in your school life, so take time to be involved in the lives of the people you care about. This will not only give you a healthy distraction from studying, but it will make your parents happy too(; -Don't be afraid to ask for help: Do this from the start. As soon as you don't understand a topic in the course, go to office hours. Do NOT wait until the night before the test to email your TA or professor at 9:30 pm because they most likely won't respond. -Don't be afraid to ask for help pt. 2: There are many people on campus who struggle with mental health, so do not feel embarrassed or ashamed to reach out to someone, UHS, professors, friends, for help. Mental illness is a treatable problem, but only if you address it first. -Realize you can't do everything: Class, work, studying, clubs, etc. all take A LOT of time, but the reality of it all is that sooner or later your body will get run down, as you will most likely sacrifice sleep in order to get more things done. Focus your time doing the things that need to get done (school work) or the things you genuinely love and forget the rest! Being a college student, I think we can all relate to having hectic schedules that make it difficult to follow through with healthy habits like exercise and eating right. I am now in my third semester of college and am still figuring out how to balance self-care and academics which has been more difficult than I imagined. This semester has been the first semester that I have regularly exercised when I am stressed and have been more mindful of what I put into my body. The impact on my happiness and positive self-image have been huge! Rather than turning to unhealthy coping mechanisms, I instead go for a run when I feel overwhelmed which always makes me feel so much better and gives me more energy throughout the day. Finding an exercise you genuinely enjoy such as biking around the lake, yoga or doing cardio at the gym is necessary because if you don’t enjoy doing it, it may cause more negative feelings. It’s also important to be forgiving towards yourself when it comes to exercise! Having the correct mindset of exercising in order to feel healthy and letting yourself know that it’s okay if you have an off week helps cultivate positive emotions towards working out thus making it more enjoyable. It’s easy to grab something unhealthy and fast when we are always in a hurry but changing your diet to be more nutritionally balanced will have a huge impact on maintaining a positive self-image and providing you with more energy! From my experience as an undergraduate, exercise and eating well have had a huge impact on my attitude and energy levels. Being forgiving towards myself and framing these habits in a healthy way has positively impacted my academics and my life in general and I hope my insight allows for others to do the same.
Transitioning to college is a scary time with a lot of changes. Although a lot of great things happen, it can also be really overwhelming. I remember not even considering how difficult it could be. I was just so excited for all the new things I could experience and people I could meet. At various times throughout freshman year I would go through phases of times where I was really content, but then something would happen and I wouldn’t know how to get help. I didn’t know how to deal with the exponentially growing feeling of stress or who to turn to. Although I met a lot of great people, at times I felt like I didn’t have any genuine close connections. As the year went on, and I got more involved in clubs and activities, I started to feel like I more so have found my place. Now that I have been in college longer, I realize that it is important to not only try to put yourself out there in situations, but also understand that it is okay to have your bad days. Despite having to juggle a lot more things than you ever will have previously, just remember that there will be ups and downs. I understand how easy it is to feel irrelevant in such a large campus, but just try and find your niche or place to call your own. Whether that be a club like NAMI, or a park bench in the botanical garden near the chemistry building. All in all just know times will be hard, but you must just find things that make you happy!
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March 2023
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